What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing, it just waved!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the

Empire State Building? 

 Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"